Way back in April, I talked about culture shock.
Chances are, you’ve heard the term “culture shock” and maybe have experienced it.
But what about “reverse culture shock”?
Reverse culture shock is culture shock’s lesser-talked-about evil cousin.
If you’re spending lengthy time abroad and will be returning at a future date, then keep reading. Reverse culture shock is real and it’s completely unexpected. Especially to first-time travelers that spend significant time away.
What Is Reverse Culture Shock?
Reverse culture shock happens when you return home from your time spent abroad. You find that things don’t feel exactly like you expected.
It also happens when you’ve been away for a long period of time. It doesn’t result from a vacation. It happens after you’ve had plenty of time to settle in somewhere new, experience THAT culture shock, then successfully acclimate You’ve started a new life in a place with a different culture, different beliefs, new foods and a very different way of going about day to day life.
You may not realize how well you’ve adjusted until you return to your home country.
Suddenly, everything you thought you were coming back to has moved on without you.
Symptoms of Reverse Culture Shock
Unlike regular culture shock, reverse culture shock is something you won’t be prepared for. How could you be? You’re returning home—there’s no new culture to get used to, right?
Wrong.
I know how it feels. You’re all excited buying souvenirs for family & friends, you’re thinking of all the fun things you’ll do when you get home and it’s an emotional time.
You can’t wait to get back where you’ll go out and enjoy your favorite foods, get together with your friends (they’ve missed you so much!) and soon everything will be right back to normal, just like you never left, and you can get comfortable again. Right?
Wrong again.
The truth is, while you were absent, all those people were busy. They were busy moving on with their own lives.
Even if you were gone–let’s say for just a year—things will change. People continue on with jobs, school, relationships. Things kept moving around while you were gone, and even though you knew this, you had a mental image of things being just the way they were when you left.
This is hardly ever the case.
Once you return, you’re hit right square in the face with reality. The symptoms of reverse culture shock become evident. These symptoms may include:
- Feelings of isolation, much like you experienced with regular culture shock
- Doubts that coming home was a good decision (even if you didn’t have a choice)
- Urgency of returning or connecting with the country where you were, so you can stabilize
- The idea that no one understands what you’re going through
- Feelings of depression and hopelessness
- Anger and feeling trapped in your surroundings
- Impatient with the people around you
- Disagreements over cultural or political issues
Because, the fact is—you’ve changed, too.
How to Cope
I wish I could tell you there was an easy solution, but it just takes time.
Such a very, very hard part of reverse culture shock is realizing that you’ve formed new ideas and opinions while you’ve been away. You may find that your new ideals don’t align with the way you felt before you left. They may not align with the beliefs that your family or friends have. This is a complicated aspect of reverse culture shock.
To me, it’s a very difficult (if not the most difficult) part of coming back. It will take a tremendous amount of poise on your part to respect the opinions of others, no matter how different they may be, and at the same time, hold tightly to the new values that are important to you now.
Take some time to gradually reconnect with your loved ones. Find out what they’ve been doing with their lives while you’ve been away. Within a few weeks, you’ll start to ease back into some sort of a routine again. Don’t try to hurry the process.
In the meantime, stay connected with the loved ones that you now have abroad, as well. They will be your support system.
Why Reverse Culture Shock Can Be a Good Thing
What? Reverse culture shock is a good thing?
Experiencing reverse culture shock is proof that you have grown.
You’ve grown so far in fact, that you can see things from a different viewpoint that you never knew about. You can see both sides of the story, in other words.
And most importantly, you can now convey this to other people so they can learn from you. Tell people what you’ve learned. Tell them about your new culture. Tell them the hows and whys about how people in other cultures think and feel.
Like it or not, you’ve become an ambassador of sorts, so you have a responsibility to share what you’ve learned.
Is Culture Shock Over For Good Now?
So, you’ve gone away and experienced culture shock. You came home and experienced REVERSE culture shock, too.
Is that all? Just the two kinds? Is it all good now?
Well…not exactly.
I believe there’s a third type of culture shock, and I would name it “recurring culture shock”. It happens when you spend significant time coming and going between a particular place.
For me personally, I make frequent trips to Costa Rica and it takes maybe a day or two to become acclimated to the daily rhythm of Cartago. The different sounds, the fact that it’s light earlier in the morning, and the flow of traffic (both by car and on foot) and the climate. And of course, the pura vida lifestyle.
However, returning to New York has proven to be my recurring reverse culture shock. It never goes away. I’ve learned to expect it, though it’s still a struggle each time. Returning to New York where society feels more standoffish, and more detached that what I’ve experienced in Costa Rica is an exercise in extreme patience. It’s the price you pay for knowing the difference between two cultures.
Do you have stories about coming back from Costa Rica or from another country? Do you find it difficult to get used to your home country again? As always, I would love to hear your comments.