Culture shock—that harsh slap in the face where you realize that not only is your way not the only way, but you’re also going to accept it whether you like it or not. Cuz for right now, there is no “my way or the highway.” You’re in it knee-deep, my friend.
I have to admit it still tickles my fancy just a bit to see someone pissed off in a new culture when they figure out it’s just not going to be the way they want it to be (insert evil laughter).
But that’s only because it’s happened to me and I know exactly how it feels. And I know you’ll be a better person because of it.
Why Does Culture Shock Have to Be So Mean?
If you’re traveling to Costa Rica for a lengthy period of time (or anywhere for that matter), first let me congratulate you! Traveling is one the best things you can do. If you find yourself with a chance to volunteer or study abroad, do it. Now. It’ll be one of the best decisions you ever make. At this happy time, thoughts of culture shock are probably the last thing on your mind.
Culture shock has a nasty way of ruining what should be a great experience. It can be a sneaky little devil. It’ll worm its way inside your head and fill you with doubts about why you went away in the first place. So how can you possibly prepare?
When Culture Shock Sets In
Surprisingly, culture shock is a delayed reaction. When you begin your time abroad, everything is new, exciting and different.
You’re not really understanding the language, but eh…so what? That will come in time. In the meantime, you’re taking it all in. The sights, the sounds, the colors. The food and the scenery! Everything is fantastic! Until suddenly—it isn’t.
Reality hits you like a pile of bricks. You can’t understand. Anything.
People around you are all laughing and having a good time, but you–no, you can’t understand a blasted word. You thought you’d understand at least something! Then, you start to wonder if they’re talking about you. You smile and nod and act like you understand. But you just want to get the hell out of there. All the happiness you felt wilts inside.
Soon, you realize that the entire idea of living abroad was a mistake. A HUGE mistake. But it’s okay. You’ll take responsibility for this horrible lapse in judgement. You’ll swallow your pride, pack your bags and go home. It’s the right thing to do. After all, people make mistakes all the time.
Okay, hey. No so fast.
So, What Exactly Is Culture Shock?
Like the name implies, it’s a shock to the system when you’re suddenly immersed into a new culture for the long haul. Suddenly, most everything you knew is being done a different way. If you don’t speak the language, you might feel trapped and isolated in your new surroundings.
Even more, culture shock isn’t just one or two new things coming at you. It’s everything. All at once. A new language. New faces. New food. Not knowing enough language to ask the basics. Feeling confused all the time. And, feeling like you’re not in control of what’s happening.
Culture shock feels like intense homesickness. But that’s not really it. And it doesn’t discriminate. It preys on boys, girls, the young and the old. Though young people can be less set in their ways and are often more willing to try new things.
It’s like starting a brand new life. Well, yes. That’s exactly what you’re doing.
And it’s exactly the reason you should stay.
So, put your bags back in the closet where they belong and take a breath. Take a few, actually. Everything is going to be okay.
How Long Does Culture Shock Last?
Who knows. The answer really depends on you and how you choose to address it.
My own battle with culture shock hit me (like a Mack truck) during my first trip to Costa Rica as an exchange student at 16 years old. We went through extensive orientation both in the States, and again in Costa Rica. Culture shock came up several times, but of course we were all having too much fun to worry about it.
It hit about two weeks after arriving in Costa Rica. Just about the time the “vacation” ended and real life set it. You know, the serious stuff.
I vividly remember the teary-eyed phone call back home to my grandmother. I confessed to her that I had made a terrible mistake, and I was ready to come home now. She would respect me for being big enough to admit it all. I knew my grandmother would get me right back on a plane headed home and everything would be okay. I’d never leave again.
Yeah, right.
Grandma told me to “man-up”. In her grandmotherly way, of course.
She was very disappointed in me. Not only that, she was also angry. Had I even given it a chance? It had only been two weeks.
I felt miserable. After sadly hanging up and bawling myself to sleep, I woke up some time later to voices that of course, I couldn’t understand.
My host family had a guest, a family member who spoke English and he had heard that I wasn’t feeling so well. He listened to my side of the story and offered this: did I realize how lucky I was to have this opportunity? What would happen if I did pack my bags and head home? In another week I’d be back to my old routine, and full of regret. I’d throw away a chance that I’d never be able to get back. All for what? Because I wasn’t willing to give it more time and see how things would pan out?
After a couple difficult days, I realized he was right.
How to Get Past Culture Shock
When I decided to deal with the circumstances in front of me one day at a time, culture shock started to fade away. Once I was willing to confront each new barrier, no matter what, it wasn’t so “shocking” anymore. That doesn’t mean there weren’t still difficult times. The first day of school in a foreign country was terrifying. But as time went by, I made friends and unbeknownst to me, was building up my own new support system.
It isn’t everyday that you get an opportunity to spend lengthy time abroad. The best you can do is accept that there are many different ways to accomplish something and meet the challenge head on.
If you’re having a hard time with culture shock, here’s five things that you can do right now.
- If you’re an exchange student, reach out to fellow students and talk about what you’re experiencing. There’s a chance they’re going through it, too. Contact your agency and see what suggestions they have as well.
- Call a supportive relative back home that you trust is a good listener. They may not be able to help you by physically being there, but venting your frustrations is a good way to reset yourself.
- Don’t stay isolated. Go out for a walk and take in the beauty of your new land. Remember how lucky you are to have this experience, and that things will get better.
- Reflect on the reasons you traveled in the first place. These reasons are just as valid now as when you made the decision to travel. Remember your purpose.
- If you enjoy writing, journal about how you’re feeling. As unpleasant as culture shock is, it’s also a normal process on the way to making your world larger. Many of us went through it, and we’re better because of it.
Will Everything Really Be Okay?
It really, really will be okay.
Humans are extremely adaptable creatures. Whatever comes your way, embrace it and learn it. Within a few days or a few weeks, you’ll be an expert. And you’ll be able to add another talent to your resume of life skills.
Eventually, you’ll find yourself so immersed in your new culture that you might find you actually like it better than your native culture. You may find that you fit in better than you could have ever imagined.
Have you had experience with culture shock? And if so, how did you get through it?